The Scenic Route . . . .

It's been a rocky start for 2012.

My mother recently pointed out a personal flaw of mine which I'm sure I was aware of, but never really acknowledged.  I should say that she wasn't being critical, but trying to help me navigate my way through the first disappointing situation of the new year.  I know I'm being vague, but the details don't really matter.  The point of this post, is the lesson I learned. 

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"You're kind of used to being in the driver's seat." 

This was the simple phrase that hit home.  I'm not one who would have ever described myself as - controlling.  In fact, I'm pretty easy going, even laid back.  She went on to explain that she understood that I have had to be "in the drivers seat" in a lot of areas of my life.  Being single, you don't really have the option to let someone else handle things.  Everything falls on you. Taking charge of everyday things like schedules and finances is something I do without even thinking about it.  I like to keep all my little ducks in a row. It seems this habit may have carried over into other areas of my life.  Well now that I've said it out loud - I kind of do sound controlling -YIKES!  I've lived on my own for over 10 years.  In that time I've become quite skilled in staying on top of things in my life as a source of security and comfort. 

Of course I know the Sunday School response to all of this.  I've never really been in control - God is in control.  If I had opened my eyes to that fact, I probably would have spent a lot less time stressing out this past year.  I would like to mention that I think I was able to yield to Him in certain areas, such as the new job and the move.  However, if I could have applied such trust to every area, 2011 may have been more abundant.  Maybe I missed a blessing because I couldn't take a step back and let God do the driving.  With that said, there are a couple of situations from the past year where I wish I had a "do-over" - but I don't.  At lease I can say I've learned a valuable lesson.

I'm a planner.  I've said that on this blog before.  You can read about it here. I obviously didn't learn the lesson the first time around. I guess I just needed a reminder of something I already knew,  but wasn't living out in  my daily life. Because I'm a planner, I like to know what's ahead of me.  I like to see the whole picture.  Sometimes I think God is wanting me to focus on the steps right in front of me and not worry about what's at the end of the road. He's got that covered.

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Here's the lesson. . . .

God has a direction for me and He is doing the planning.  He sees the big picture.  He knows where we are going and when we will get there.  Through all of this, I've come to realize a couple of things.

1) Clearly, we're going the long way-the scenic route, no doubt.
2) I'll be better equipped for the next chapter when I get there.

In the past few weeks I've read several stories about people picking a word or phrase for each year.  This isn't something I've ever done before but I like the idea of it.  I thought I'd give it a try this year and who knows, it may become a tradition. 

My phase for 2012 will be "The Scenic Route" as I learn to appreciate the journey I'm on and ride along as a passenger, not the driver. 

This year I will trust more, relax, and enjoy the view.

Got Butter?

Click on the picture to enlarge for easy reading.

Eleven - Twelve

Eleven
I can't believe that 2011 has come and gone.  As I get older the years seem to fade together.  Sometimes it's hard to remember exactly how and when things happened.  However, 2011 will defiantly be a year I remember. 

This year brought many changes for me.  Most significantly a new job and a move to Tyler.  To be completely honest, sometimes I still have mixed feelings about my decision.  Professionally, I'm happier than I've ever been.  I love being a counselor.  I love working with elementary students.  I love the people I work with.  Professionally, it was absolutely the right choice. 

When it comes to my personal life, I'm still struggling.  Of course, I knew it would be a difficult adjustment when I decided to move . . . . and I was right.  Leaving my comfort zone was hard.  Sometimes I miss Dallas so much I can hardly take it.  I miss my quirky little East Dallas neighborhood.  I miss my church. (I'll post later about how the church search is going.)  I miss Zoe.  I miss my friends and being close to Steffi, Tad and Beau.  I miss being in the city - the lights, the arts, the culture, the shopping - The Noise! 

I remember when I moved to Dallas in 1999, It took a little getting used to.  I was lucky to make a forever friend in Amy right from the start.  I met her my first day of work.  It took just 3 months to find a church home and many friendships followed.  I also have to acknowledge that I was 22 years old and fresh out of college.  I was tossed into a large group of other young singletons who where learning to navigate life in the city.  We had each other, we bonded and I had a blast! 

So to be fair, I know I need to give it time, a fair shot - and I'm willing to do that.  I've got time.  Another good thing that has come out of my move is that I'm free of the fear that held me back.  I've certainly conqored my fear of stepping out on my own.  It's freeing and it's been good for me. 

Twelve
I'm excited to see what God has in store for me in 2012.  There are many things that way heavy on my heart this time of year.  I don't think I'm alone in that this time of year often reminds me of the things I wasn't able to accomplish in the past year.  For me, I don't feel quite as bad about those this year because of the evident changes that I can see.  Still there are always a few personal goals I hope to reach.  Always heath and personal fitness are a constant struggle. 

I haven't blogged much about this next subject because it's sort of personal, but I feel inclined to share.  One thing I am praying for in this next year is a Godly man with whom I can share my already fabulous life.  I'll be turning 36 this year and I'm certainly ready for such a great adventure. I feel that God has given me the desire to be married and have a family of my own.  For whatever reason, it hasn't happend yet.  I won't lie, it hasn't been easy over the years watching pretty much everyone I know find love, settle down and start their own families.  I know I haven't always been patient about the waiting.  In fact my impatience may have very well be the reason God said "No" when I thought I was ready for such a blessing.  I hope that even in this past year, I've grown.  I know now, more that ever that His timing is best.  I can and will wait for my love story.

The things God blessed me with in 2011 are simply too great to list in the few words I can write here. The things I'm going to accomplish in 2012 are too significant to limit to a single resolution.   

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us - Eph 3:20, "  Lord, if it be your will, let this be my time for immesurably more than I could ever imagine. 

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A few other things before I go.  I hope you all enjoy the new blog design.  I changed some of the pictures too.  I never got around so sending Christmas cards this year so I had good intentions of sending New Years cards but I haven't seemed to get that done either.  I'm such a slacker. 

Anyway, the new pictures on the blog are the ones I took to use for a holiday card, but never used.  .  So I decided to use them to update the blog. 

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Also, I'm now tweeting.  I always link my blog to Twitter and Facebook.  Please become a follower on Twitter and on the Blog. Just use the links on the sidebar, or search for me on Twitter @heavens2betsy76.  I love keeping up with who's reading.  In the past few months I've counted blog hits from 12 different states.  I wish more people would follow so I could know who is reading and from where. 

Have a blessed 2012!