Twelve in Twelve

This has certainly been an interesting year for me.  Some of you may remember my New Year’s post where I mentioned my love life, or lack thereof.  Here’s an excerpt from that post. . .

I haven't blogged much about this next subject because it's sort of personal, but I feel inclined to share. One thing I am praying for in this next year is a Godly man with whom I can share my already fabulous life. I'll be turning 36 this year and I'm certainly ready for such a great adventure. I feel that God has given me the desire to be married and have a family of my own. For whatever reason, it hasn't happened yet. I won't lie, it hasn't been easy over the years watching pretty much everyone I know find love, settle down and start their own families. I know I haven't always been patient about the waiting. In fact my impatience may very well have been the reason God said "No" when I thought I was ready for such a blessing. I hope that even in this past year, I've grown. I know now, more than ever that His timing is best. I can and will wait for my love story.

Here’s a little back story.  In the previous decade I dated very little. I recall going on two blind dates, both fix ups, arranged by a good friend.  I also met one man on a Christian dating website in February of 2011. We went on a few dates before things fizzled.  I’m still not entirely sure what happened in that situation. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I decided to try online dating again in 2012. I had no idea how that one decision would completely change my year, maybe even my life.

So here’s the update.  I’ve been on 12 first dates this year, hence the name of this post – Twelve in Twelve.  Some of the dates were great, some not so much.  I will not use any names or even initials of the men when blogging about the dates. I also won't mention any specifics about where the men live.  I will refer to them by number only. I wanted to blog a little about these 12 guys, so I can look back and remember the dates when I'm feeling sorry for myself about sitting home alone on a Saturday night.  I also hope to look back as a married woman someday and be even more grateful for the love of my life and remember what I went through to find him.

Here’s the list. . . .

1.      40s, Divorced, IT/ part time music minister/ Preacher’s Kid -  Dated him in early 2012, then broke up.  We got back together and dated over the summer again.  We broke up just before school started this year.  He is the only man I've every been in love with.  I now know I am capable of that type of love for someone else.  It was fast, but the conversations were very serious, including a timeline for engagement and marriage, children, housing, ect. He very quickly moved on which made things hard. Looking back on it I realize he had some emotional problems and real issues with co-dependency.  It’s taken me a while to see it, but I know God was protecting me from a very negative situation. I was hurt, but he is forgiven and I am better for having lived through the whole experience.

2.       40s, Never Married, Associate Pastor – One date.  We never spoke on the phone before meeting in person.  He was very feminine.  He related planning worship services to putting on a Broadway musical. He had a purple iPhone cover.  He didn’t hold the door open or walk me to my car.  I'm a modern woman and it may be 2012, but come on. . . this is still the South.

3.       40s, Never Married, Software Engineer – One date.  He was very sweet and shy.  He told me that he visited his mother in Fort Worth every Friday night and would be able to see me late Saturday afternoons only.  He showed little emotion when talking, very monotone. There just wasn't a great connection.

4.       Late 40s, Never Married, PhD/former educator/business owner/Power lifter-Strongman – Dated on and off, starting in the spring.  He runs his own business and lives out of state. He is also caring for his mother which takes quite a bit of his time. He always makes me laugh and is very witty.  We've always had good chemistry, from the moment we met, it seemed like we'd known each other for years. He's handsome and always fun to be around.   I like him a lot; it just seems that we want different things out of life. He has become a good friend.  We still talk on the phone and even see each other now and then.  I just don't see it going anywhere.

5.       30s, Never Married, Coach, new to East TX – One date.  He was really sweet and cute. I just don’t think he felt a spark with me.  Nice guy though.

6.       Prefers not to be mentioned.

7.       40s, Never Married, Engineer – One date.  He asked a million questions.  Seemed like a job interview. I obviously didn't get the job.

8.       40s, Never Married, Computer Engineer/PhD grad student - Super nice.  Great conversationalist.  Sweet, cute, funny and witty.  He lives almost 6 hours away from Tyler.  As much as I like him, the distance may prove to be too much. We still talk often.  I consider him a good friend.

9.       40s, Divorced, Lawyer – One date.  Socially awkward.  Kind of strange.  I honestly can’t even remember his last name. 

10.   40s, Divorced, worked on Motorcycles?? – One date. He has been married 4 times and admitted he had an affair – enough said.

11.   40s, Divorced, Safety specialist for a well-known company, 3 kids – One date. He initiated several text conversations after our date, but never mentioned getting together again.   He seems like a really nice guy but I guess there just wasn't enough of a spark for either of us.

12.   Late 40s, Never Married, Sales and delivery for a well-known food company. – Really kind.  Very old fashioned, seems like an old soul.  I might be a little too sarcastic and sassy for him?? I’m not sure he really ‘gets me’. 
 

For many years I've had a fear that I would marry having only really dated a few people.  I don't worry about that anymore.  I've seen what's out there.  I know what I want and what I don't want.  I'm very grateful for the opportunities to date. For the most part it's been good for my self esteem, except for my experience with #1.  Even though I was heart broken over the way things ended with #1, my experience with him has brought about a great deal of personal growth. 

My mother recently reminded me of how I used to complain of loneliness.  I would say “If I just had a date every now and then. . . .”  Oh the nights I prayed for  someone to date.  I was so lonely and sad.  In the past couple of years that prayer changed.  I began to pray for one specific man.  I’m grateful for all the dating opportunities, but for some reason, I’m still lonely. 

One of my favorite movies to watch in the Christmas season is Little Women.  I think Amy , the youngest sister, said it best.

“You don't need scores and scores of suitors; you only need one, if he is the right one.”                                                     - Little Women

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find the right one. Love shouldn’t be this difficult. 

I know my prayers in 2013 will be considerably more specific.  I’m excited to see what God will do. For tonight I’m watching Bridget Jones and identifying with this clip.  You will have to click on "Watch it on Youtube" in order to view it.

It's hard to be patient.  Some days I think, "Where is he already, I'm exhausted."  But I know the best things in life come to those who wait.  I also know God has a purpose for this time in my life, even though it's not easy.

To all the Singletons out there - Keep the Faith!

Auld Lang Syne

 

You’re probably thinking this is a strange title for a post in November.  No, I’m not trying to get ahead of myself when it comes to celebrating the holidays.  I’m just looking forward to kissing 2012 good bye. 

I could have never imagined when I shared this post in January, how the circumstances of these few days we call a year, would forever change me. In some ways, that fact saddens me. I long for the ignorance of my slightly younger self. On the other hand, the statement gives a little hope, hope that in just one short year things can be vastly different in my life – something I would welcome.

 

Fall is usually my favorite season.  I love the colors of autumn.  As a redhead, it’s by far my best season. I’ve always been a fan of cozy sweaters and corduroy.   I also adore the warm sent of fall and of course the comfort foods brought by the season. I love to walk outside and smell the scent of fireplaces burning in the neighborhood. I love the pumpkins and mums that adorn front porches on my street. Mostly, I love the symbolic shedding of the old in preparation for the new. Everything is beautiful just before it goes gray and bare.  That's all part of God's plan.  He strips away the old, no matter how beautiful we think it is, to prepare for the new. This fall has been pretty difficult for me personally, but I’m hopeful again. I expect a vibrant spring. 

 

A fitting song. . . .

Joy comes in the morning

If you've knelt beside the rubble of an aching broken heart

When the things you gave your life to fell apart

You're not the first to be acquainted with sorrow grief or pain

But the master promised sunshine after rain

Hold on my child

Joy comes in the morning

Weeping only last for the night

Hold on my child

Joy comes in the morning

The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight

To invest your seed of trust in God in mountains you can't move

You have risked your life on thing you cannot prove

But to give the things you cannot keep for what you cannot lose

Is the way to find the joy God has for you 

Hold on my child

Joy comes in the morning

Weeping only last for the night

Hold on my child

Joy comes in the morning

The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight

The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight

 

All things new. . . .

A friend of mine recently posted this on Facebook. 

"One can only turn over a new leaf so many times. After a while all the new leaves fall off the tree."

It got me thinking about 'new beginings' in life.  One thing I have always loved about academia is the fresh start.  I love that each year I get another try at getting it right, or at least doing it better than the year before. 

Even though I understand what my friend was trying to say.  I can't help but think of Rev. 21:5 "Behold, I make all things new."  I will trust in His word and have faith in a new day and a fresh start. 

I turned 36 on Sunday.  35 was a good year for me in many ways.  It was full of adventure. I was settling in a new town, started a new job and made some wonderful new friends.  I've been dating quite a bit.  Nothing to write home about  yet, but it's been fun. 

35 also had it's share of sorrow.  My beloved Zoe passed in March.  I've also struggled to really feel 'at home' sometimes.  Tyler is beginning to feel more like home and I know it will continue to get better in time. 

Earlier in the year I posted about my phrase for 2012, "The scenic route."  Somehow along the winding road of life, I've ended up somewhere familiar, somewhere I've been before.  I've already experienced the familiar encouragement of family and friends, but the heart ache is also familiar. I know there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3).  A time for mourning is over, it's time for me to live.  I'm grateful for the opportunity for a fresh start. 

 

 

New Friends!

Make New Friends - Girls Scout Song!

Make new friends,
But keep the old.
One is silver,
And the other, gold.
A circle's round
It has no end
That's how long
I'm gonna be your friend.

A fire burns bright,
It warms the heart.
We’ve been friends,
From the very start.
You help me,
And I’ll help you
And together
We will see it through.
The sky is blue
The Earth is green
I can help
To keep it clean.
Across the land
Across the sea
Friends forever
We will always be.

Hello.  I'm Betsy, I write this blog.  If you are a blogger from the Tyler/East TX area and are interested in making a blog buddy - let me know!  baylorbetsy76@gmail.com

I'm linking up with Kelly today in hopes of meeting some blog friends.  I have lots of friends who blog, but I've never met anyone through a blog.  I read blogs from all over, particularly the South.  I think it would be so fun to actually meet some of the bloggers I follow. 

Something New!

So it seems that 2012 is going to be the year of lessons for me.  Remember THIS post, when I seemed so hopeful about the new year and what great things were going to come my way.  To be honest, I lost that hope pretty quickly.  Then there was THIS post where I decide "The Scenic Route" was best for me. Yet again, I ended up on a treacherous path.  I guess I'm learning that life is full of winding roads and unseen roadblocks around every other turn.  To be fair I should say that there are joyful surprises around some of those turns as well. 

I keep up with most of my Baylor friends via Facebook.  There are a few that I actually see from time to time.  SRG is probably one of my oldest friends.  Not to say the he is old, but that I've known him for almost 17 years.  I met him during welcome week at Baylor.  His older brother CRG was my small group leader for the week.  We became fast friends and have keep in touch through the years.  When I think of the my all time favorite Baylor memories, SRG is always part of them.  Over the past 17 years, God has used him to speak truth to me on several occasions.  I'm grateful for is continued friendship. He recently shared this verse with me after a hearing of my latest "bump in the road." It's encouraged me so I wanted to share!

Isaiah 43:16-21

The Message (MSG)

^16-21This is what God says,
the God who builds a road right through the ocean,
who carves a path through pounding waves,
The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—
they lie down and then can't get up;
they're snuffed out like so many candles:
"Forget about what's happened;
don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new.
It's bursting out! Don't you see it?
There it is! I'm making a road through the desert,
rivers in the badlands.
Wild animals will say 'Thank you!'
—the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert,
rivers through the sun-baked earth,
Drinking water for the people I chose,
the people I made especially for myself,
a people custom-made to praise me.

I love that He is starting something new for me.  Some translations even say - "You don't have to see it", you can trust that He is starting it.  Even when I think a situation seems hopeless, he is already starting something new.  I've said it before His plan for my life has got to be better than anything I could ever come up with, so I trust Him and wait.  I guess it's time to sit back and enjoy the scenic route a little longer.

As for the positives along my scenic route, well I've been reminded of how blessed I am to have such wonderful Christian friends.  In recent days they have proven their loyalty and  loved me when I needed it most. 

God has a plan and the power to start something new in my life and in yours.

Keep the faith!

In other news. . . . Savannah/Charleston 2012, summer trip is in the works with the best travel buds ever, Christa and Amy.  Planning a summer trip is a great distraction this time of year. More details to follow. 

One of those days...

Love is in the air, or at least online??



Today is "Show Us Your Singles" Day over at Kelly's Korner. (I'm #64)  She hosts a little match up party a couple of times a year. In today's post, Kelly shares a little about a few up coming weddings as a result of her match making. 

Once again, my lovely sister has posted about me! She's linked up with Kelly in hopes of finding me a man!  She's done this a couple of times before, but who knows, maybe the third time's a charm - ha! Thanks Steffi for not giving up on me.

Even if I don't meet Mr. Right - It's still fun to browse through all the links and be reminded that I'm not the only single gal left out there. 

The Scenic Route . . . .

It's been a rocky start for 2012.

My mother recently pointed out a personal flaw of mine which I'm sure I was aware of, but never really acknowledged.  I should say that she wasn't being critical, but trying to help me navigate my way through the first disappointing situation of the new year.  I know I'm being vague, but the details don't really matter.  The point of this post, is the lesson I learned. 

www.masterfile-vintage-retro.com

"You're kind of used to being in the driver's seat." 

This was the simple phrase that hit home.  I'm not one who would have ever described myself as - controlling.  In fact, I'm pretty easy going, even laid back.  She went on to explain that she understood that I have had to be "in the drivers seat" in a lot of areas of my life.  Being single, you don't really have the option to let someone else handle things.  Everything falls on you. Taking charge of everyday things like schedules and finances is something I do without even thinking about it.  I like to keep all my little ducks in a row. It seems this habit may have carried over into other areas of my life.  Well now that I've said it out loud - I kind of do sound controlling -YIKES!  I've lived on my own for over 10 years.  In that time I've become quite skilled in staying on top of things in my life as a source of security and comfort. 

Of course I know the Sunday School response to all of this.  I've never really been in control - God is in control.  If I had opened my eyes to that fact, I probably would have spent a lot less time stressing out this past year.  I would like to mention that I think I was able to yield to Him in certain areas, such as the new job and the move.  However, if I could have applied such trust to every area, 2011 may have been more abundant.  Maybe I missed a blessing because I couldn't take a step back and let God do the driving.  With that said, there are a couple of situations from the past year where I wish I had a "do-over" - but I don't.  At lease I can say I've learned a valuable lesson.

I'm a planner.  I've said that on this blog before.  You can read about it here. I obviously didn't learn the lesson the first time around. I guess I just needed a reminder of something I already knew,  but wasn't living out in  my daily life. Because I'm a planner, I like to know what's ahead of me.  I like to see the whole picture.  Sometimes I think God is wanting me to focus on the steps right in front of me and not worry about what's at the end of the road. He's got that covered.

www.theheartofnewengland.com/travel/me/fall-foliage.html

Here's the lesson. . . .

God has a direction for me and He is doing the planning.  He sees the big picture.  He knows where we are going and when we will get there.  Through all of this, I've come to realize a couple of things.

1) Clearly, we're going the long way-the scenic route, no doubt.
2) I'll be better equipped for the next chapter when I get there.

In the past few weeks I've read several stories about people picking a word or phrase for each year.  This isn't something I've ever done before but I like the idea of it.  I thought I'd give it a try this year and who knows, it may become a tradition. 

My phase for 2012 will be "The Scenic Route" as I learn to appreciate the journey I'm on and ride along as a passenger, not the driver. 

This year I will trust more, relax, and enjoy the view.

Got Butter?

Click on the picture to enlarge for easy reading.

Eleven - Twelve

Eleven
I can't believe that 2011 has come and gone.  As I get older the years seem to fade together.  Sometimes it's hard to remember exactly how and when things happened.  However, 2011 will defiantly be a year I remember. 

This year brought many changes for me.  Most significantly a new job and a move to Tyler.  To be completely honest, sometimes I still have mixed feelings about my decision.  Professionally, I'm happier than I've ever been.  I love being a counselor.  I love working with elementary students.  I love the people I work with.  Professionally, it was absolutely the right choice. 

When it comes to my personal life, I'm still struggling.  Of course, I knew it would be a difficult adjustment when I decided to move . . . . and I was right.  Leaving my comfort zone was hard.  Sometimes I miss Dallas so much I can hardly take it.  I miss my quirky little East Dallas neighborhood.  I miss my church. (I'll post later about how the church search is going.)  I miss Zoe.  I miss my friends and being close to Steffi, Tad and Beau.  I miss being in the city - the lights, the arts, the culture, the shopping - The Noise! 

I remember when I moved to Dallas in 1999, It took a little getting used to.  I was lucky to make a forever friend in Amy right from the start.  I met her my first day of work.  It took just 3 months to find a church home and many friendships followed.  I also have to acknowledge that I was 22 years old and fresh out of college.  I was tossed into a large group of other young singletons who where learning to navigate life in the city.  We had each other, we bonded and I had a blast! 

So to be fair, I know I need to give it time, a fair shot - and I'm willing to do that.  I've got time.  Another good thing that has come out of my move is that I'm free of the fear that held me back.  I've certainly conqored my fear of stepping out on my own.  It's freeing and it's been good for me. 

Twelve
I'm excited to see what God has in store for me in 2012.  There are many things that way heavy on my heart this time of year.  I don't think I'm alone in that this time of year often reminds me of the things I wasn't able to accomplish in the past year.  For me, I don't feel quite as bad about those this year because of the evident changes that I can see.  Still there are always a few personal goals I hope to reach.  Always heath and personal fitness are a constant struggle. 

I haven't blogged much about this next subject because it's sort of personal, but I feel inclined to share.  One thing I am praying for in this next year is a Godly man with whom I can share my already fabulous life.  I'll be turning 36 this year and I'm certainly ready for such a great adventure. I feel that God has given me the desire to be married and have a family of my own.  For whatever reason, it hasn't happend yet.  I won't lie, it hasn't been easy over the years watching pretty much everyone I know find love, settle down and start their own families.  I know I haven't always been patient about the waiting.  In fact my impatience may have very well be the reason God said "No" when I thought I was ready for such a blessing.  I hope that even in this past year, I've grown.  I know now, more that ever that His timing is best.  I can and will wait for my love story.

The things God blessed me with in 2011 are simply too great to list in the few words I can write here. The things I'm going to accomplish in 2012 are too significant to limit to a single resolution.   

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us - Eph 3:20, "  Lord, if it be your will, let this be my time for immesurably more than I could ever imagine. 

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A few other things before I go.  I hope you all enjoy the new blog design.  I changed some of the pictures too.  I never got around so sending Christmas cards this year so I had good intentions of sending New Years cards but I haven't seemed to get that done either.  I'm such a slacker. 

Anyway, the new pictures on the blog are the ones I took to use for a holiday card, but never used.  .  So I decided to use them to update the blog. 

Follow Me

Also, I'm now tweeting.  I always link my blog to Twitter and Facebook.  Please become a follower on Twitter and on the Blog. Just use the links on the sidebar, or search for me on Twitter @heavens2betsy76.  I love keeping up with who's reading.  In the past few months I've counted blog hits from 12 different states.  I wish more people would follow so I could know who is reading and from where. 

Have a blessed 2012!